The best part of fatherhood is how slimming mononucleosis can be.
Keeps making me laugh because I'm gonna throw up, and then I'll be real happy.
The only Chipotle burrito I would ever eat is the one with E. coli in it.
Food poisoning is a great way to achieve your goals!
You know, I can really see the appeal in throwing up.
A stomach full of anger is still too full for me.
Right now, I feel like Christian Bale in The Machinist, which is good. But it's not great.